I sent out a post in advance of this month’s newsletter saying I was going to talk about work/life balance. As I started writing, I realized I’d chosen a really big topic; so I think we’re going to be looking at work/life balance for a number of months. There’s much to consider and many ways of looking at it… and it all comes to impact our mental health. This month, as we discuss work/life balance, we’re going to delve into one of my favorite topics as an artist:
The color red.
If you saw my mid-month post, I showed a picture from a fashion shoot for the jackets I design. I use a lot of white, black, and red in my designs. When I was at the shoot, one of the models and the photographer were discussing how they liked the combination of a jacket and pair of jeans I’d designed. “Well,” I said, “The jeans were the first item I painted. I didn’t have the red right yet. Now, you can see on the jacket, it’s a much more true, universal, and bright red. It’s my favorite shade of red and I’m using it exclusively.” I went on for about another minute (which I’ll spare you from reading). They listened to me politely and patiently – albeit a bit glassy-eyed – as I art-geeked out over the color red.
It’s hard to find the right color shades as an artist, and the colors you choose have a kind of relationship with each other to convey a message, thought, or feeling. Since my two dominant colors are white and black, when I use red, I want it to have a huge impact on the design. It becomes a focal point.
I’ve found reds to be particularly tricky. Some have undertones in pink from their magenta base color. Others have an orange tint from the yellow base which make them spicy and warm. Then there are the blue reds from cyan which are best for cooler compositions. And, amid all the undertones, are the additions of white and black. Too much white and the reds become chalky and muted. Too much black and you start to form maroons and brick reds. My ideal, true red is found at a perfect balancing point amid all those combinations.
Go to the paint store and look at color swatches. Each card has a particular tone and light to dark options. It was my favorite part of going to the hardware store when I was younger. When my Dad came to find me, I’d have a card for every color I could reach. He’d set down his purchases and we would put them all back despite my insisting they were free. For me, the paint swatches were a little island of treasure among the nails, bolts, gardening equipment, or whatever else my Dad needed that day.
Work/life balance is also particularly tricky. I wouldn’t need to write about it if it were as easy as eight hours for sleep, eight hours for home, and eight hours for work. Like my color combinations, they bleed into each other in varying degrees to produce unique outcomes. Many people, and I am absolutely included in that number, struggle with work/life balance. It seems as if it shouldn’t be that difficult. Time at home and time at work. That’s it, right? If you want a visual, think of a teeter-totter or see-saw. Up = Home and Down = Work. 50/50. I think we convince ourselves of its simplicity and then beat ourselves up when we take work home with us or we bring personal issues to the office.
I see work/life balance as a spinning top – one of my favorite things to collect. There are many variables that impact a top when it spins, and it usually takes a couple tries to get it going. We often don’t get it right on the first try, so we make tiny adjustments: maybe change the surface, remove objects that might get in the way, slightly change how our fingers release the top, and we try again. When it all comes together, the top spins beautifully and silently, seeming to float motionless. Well manufactured tops on ideal surfaces can spin for minutes. But eventually, they wobble and fall before coming to rest. It never bothers me; I start it spinning again. Because watching it spin is almost meditative. Like my ideal red, the spinning top brings me joy.
If we apply that image to work/life balance, on a regular basis we need to reassess our environment and make adjustments. Because as we’ve seen with the spinning top, it will eventually stop spinning, but that’s just the reality of the world. Balance today may not be balance tomorrow. But I don’t think that should be cause for dismay. The spinning top that comes to rest hasn’t failed… it waits to spin again.
My work/life balance when I had a chronically ill two-year-old is not the same as with my now healthy 17-year-old. And my work/life balance when I was starting my career as an individual contributor is a long way from my life now as a team leader and Associate Director. This is all to say, as we are at the beginning of our discussions about work/life balance, that it is a constantly evolving thing. But something needing to change does not mean the previous incarnation was a failure. It definitely doesn’t mean that WE have failed. It’s an indicator that we need to make adjustments to find the balance point again.
What are some adjustments we can look at making when we feel things are no longer balanced?
On the Work Side…
If work is feeling overwhelming
- Communicate the need to establish priorities on your tasks
- See if certain aspects of a project can be delegated to another worker
- Reserve blocks of time on your calendar to complete tasks
- Say “no” to additional work or ask that it be postponed until you have more bandwidth
- Ensure you are taking adequate breaks and ending work at a reasonable hour
- If available, use your company’s EAP for additional support
If work is feeling unmotivating or you are bored
- Communicate that you are available and eager for additional tasks/opportunities
- Look into additional training, education or certification programs
- Seek out professional organizations
- Explore opportunities to train others in the company on your subject areas
- Speak with management about cross-training
- Join (or start) company groups such as women’s affinity, charitable projects and social groups
On the Life Side…
When our home life is challenging
- Communicate to your family and friends that you are struggling
- Use your company’s EAP for access to medical or psychological services
- Create opportunities to get out of the house – consider volunteering, taking daily walks, exercising at a gym or running errands with a friend
- If you have a pet, you have a willing ear for all your struggles (especially helpful if you need to practice talking to family, friends or your doctor)
- Set a goal to perform one random act of kindness a day
- Seek support from your spiritual leaders
- Don’t judge yourself based on what you see on social media; get feedback from people in real life
- Acknowledge your feelings are valid and real
- Find opportunities to experience things that bring you joy
- Practice self-care… take care of you so you can take care of others
No doubt about it, maintaining work/life balance is work. It used to frustrate me (greatly) that I never seemed to be done with it all. I’d be feeling as if everything was good and balanced, then something would change and I’d struggle to find the balance point again. I felt like a stereotypical parent on a road trip, “So help me, if you don’t stop it this instant, I’m turning this car around!”
It can feel annoying that we’re never really done; we wish things would just stay the same. But an endlessly spinning top loses its appeal. If all the reds were the same, that uniqueness of variation is gone, as is the joy of finding the perfect shade for your artwork. In essence, there’s no challenge, no opportunity to change for the better, and, ultimately, no reason to get out of bed. For as much as I bemoan the fact things have changed again, I’d be more unhappy with a life that never changes. So, when that top stops spinning, I realize that it is simply waiting to spin again, and maybe I can beat my best time. 😊
Thanks so much for reading. I’ll be back in May to continue looking at work/life balance. As always, please keep in mind I’m still very much a student of my own condition. I’m happy to share what has worked for me and the journey that got me there. Please reach out to your own support team as you start or continue your journey as well.
If you are in need of mental health resources, please consider reaching out to the National Alliance on Mental Illness (NAMI.org). On the website, you can find local resources and groups. You can also dial 988 in the United States for the Suicide and Crisis Lifeline. Lastly, you can reach the Crisis Text Line by texting HOME to 741741.
See you all next month!